01.27.08
Been a little out of the loop
A lot has been going on with some boards I am on…..which has taken me away from my blog. That dust has settled, so I need to talk about my joys…E & G!
We had an “I Wish It Was Summer” party on Friday. JoAnna, Tera, Kathy and Allette all came over. The kids decorated foam sun visors with summery stickers and got to wear star sunglasses. I turned the thermostat up to 72 and the kids also wore shorts and t-shirts while Beach Boys music played in the background.
For lunch the kids enjoyed hot dogs, chips, veggies and “watermelon” cookies (sugar cookies that look like watermelon). The mom’s had cranberry iced tea and some chicken salad pitas. The kids were able to run and play and we all visited.
Later that day, Allette, a new mom I met in December, called to thank me for inviting them. It meant a lot to her that we included her and that she was able to visit with other moms and hear us talk which helped her to know that what she was going through was the same thing as all of us. She is excited about her daughter and Emma getting together for play dates once or twice a month. I think it will be great!
On a sad note, Dean & Kathy listed their house this week. They are being relocated (military) in June. We are losing some of our best friends. However, with the connection of them being Garrett’s Godparents, we will always stay in touch. Terra, Kim and I are going to put together a going away party for them in May. But, I really wish we didn’t have to do that…..it just makes me sad that they have to leave.
Garrett is over his little bug. Poor thing was so sick with that nasty ear infection. Now he is his happy little self again….crawling and getting into everything…..makes mommy smile!!
01.22.08
Could it be real?
OK….a good friend of mine started Clomid this month. Her temps have been very high, except for one dip (which I am calling implantation)……so she pee’d on plastic today! I can see the faintest, faintest of lines. Could it be real? Could such a sweetie FINALLY be pregnant after the YEARS of unexplained fertility, poking and proding around her body? I am so praying for it to be so for her!!!
01.18.08
We have a word…..and other revelations
Emma had one of “those” days. She is not feeling well and actually has a barky cough and throat. It is a very good cold at this point, so no need to run to the doctor, but it still makes her feel puny. So, mommy has gotten out the Baby Vicks to help her feel better. Mommy put it away today, but Emma found it. She coated the TV, desk, doorknob and TV cabinet with it and then wrapped up her adventure by painting almost her entire body with it. Mommy was NOT a happy camper, to say the least.
I actually had to just strip her down and put her into the tub. I had to go and get out the DAWN and a cloth to scrub her as her soap wasn’t strong enough. So, my little girl was in her tub with green soap dripping on her body. I actually had to do two wash downs. I was so angry with her….she just knows better. I had it up on a higher shelf and she managed to get it down. I know she learned her lesson today.
After she was cleaned up, I had to get more Dawn out to scrub the areas that she “painted”….and the smell….OH the smell!!! It is awful, but add in a dose of all day sickness from pregnancy and it is 10x WORSE than ever!! So, I had to clean that all up and then do a load of laundry to wash everything that had received its Vicks Vapo Rub bath earlier in the day.
The good thing for the day was that BOTH children were in bed, sound asleep by 6:30 tonight. Mommy really needed the break and with Emma being sick, she just crashed hard. Now, let’s pray she sleeps ALL night long!!!
01.14.08
Time to take stock
I got so angry today with Emma that I actually cried. Not at her, but at me for even FEELING that way! I am feeling so out of control. I can not take my medicine at all……and because of that, my family is suffering. I don’t want to be “that” mom or the wife that no one would want to be with……it breaks my heart to think of it. I need a mantra….a way to handle things.
I vow from here forward to remember what is important. To remember that my children are just that CHILDREN! Yes, there are some things that Emma does know to do and not to do, but she is still ONLY 3 YEARS OLD. I have to remember this. When she does something that makes me angry, I need to take a deep breath BEFORE I react. I have to look at the bigger picture and see if it was deliberate (as in her hitting her brother) or accidental (as in spilling juice all over the floor for the 10th time since 6:00 a.m.).
I have to remember that my children will be small for such a short time. I have to savor and enjoy it so that I don’t look back and wonder where it went. I have to treat them well and be a happy mom so that THEY can be happy. I want them to look back and remember mom being home and being happy and playing with them….not being angry. I don’t want to be an angry mom.
Emma, Garrett and “lil‘ bean”….my mantra from hence forth is to remember you are small and that you always need to come first. My friends, other family, work, the house…..it is ALL second fiddle to the three of you. You are my life. You are the reason I get up in the morning and bring most of the smiles to my face. I love you more than you know and one day, when you have children of your own, you will be able to understand the love that really can not be put into words.
I ask forgiveness for what I have done and the way things have been. I vow to make things better…..I vow to think before I speak and breathe before I act. But most of all, I promise that I am going to be the mom that you all deserve. I vow to not sweat the small stuff and to just enjoy being your mommy!!
To my husband — I promise the same as I did to our children. You love me for who I am and put up with me many times over and over again. This is not fair to you either. You are the love of my life and I want to be the wife that God gave to you.
I love you all.
01.12.08
And for THE BEST picture….
On an unrelated note, I had another party last night. This is my first one in two months! It wasn’t the best and I really felt out of practice. Still though, I did sell over $100 before the hostess has placed her order and there could be an outside one and a good chance for another booking. The next BOOKING is the most important.
Tim and I talked and I really do need to come up with the money and place an ad in the Kansas City Star — preferably STAR magazine if I can. I think that is the only way I am really going to get my name out there. Yes, it will cost some money so we may have to wait a little bit to do it, but I think it is my next course of action.
Now, if my damn sinus headache would leave I think that my nausea might let up a little bit, just so it can settle back in again for me around 5 1/2 – 6 weeks along and my Zofran to kick into being used again! (But, I really am NOT complaining…………….YET!)
01.09.08
A picture is worth a THOUSAND words
I am thrilled and excited. I also know that the odds are IN my favor that we maybe will get our little girl this go around with the timing of our baby makin’ session in relation to the big O date!!!
Now — here is how I told Tim the good news: I had chicken in a bowl in the kitchen. After he got home, I put the test on a paper towel and set that on top of the chicken. Then, I asked him to help me make dinner, which wasn’t odd to him at all. So I asked him if he would go and cut up the chicken, so he is washing his hands and I am standing behind him at the refrigerator and he looks over and kind of stops……then looks at me with a smirk and says “Are You?” I said yep! He shook his head in disbelief.
A little later he joked that after this one it will be time for a snip-snip…. I told him the DAY we got pregnant and explained that it was 3 days before I O’d and that COULD increase our chances for a girl (had to give him a quick spermie lesson).
So Daddy knows and I know he is shocked – but excited — kind of like me right now!! We will tell Emma when my tummy really starts to get big and/or 6 months — whichever comes first. I am just praying that this little baby is healthy – that is of UTMOST importance!!!
01.07.08
What a HORRIBLE night (and morning)
Yesterday, Emma took a great nap. Well, by 9 pm, she was STILL awake and having a hard time winding down. So, I took her back to her bed and she finally drifted off to sleep. Now, before she went down, I mentioned to her that she had to sleep in her own bed and that if she came into our room, she’d have to go back to her room. She said “OK, Mommy.” Yeah….right……
3:30 a.m. rolls around and I have a little 30″ visitor standing by my side of the bed. So, I pick her up……let me rephrase that….I ATTEMPT to pick her up and take her back to her room. So ensues a temper tantrum. Yes, at 3:35 a.m., my 3 year old daughter was kicking her bedroom door and screaming at the top of her lungs.
Now, since we have a 10 month old whom we really wanted to allow to keep sleeping (he had just been given a bottle), Tim got out of bed and went to try to keep it at bay. Nope. Didn’t work! So, then I roll my exhausted behind out of my nice warm, comfy bed and proceed down the hall….listening to it all play out behind the closed bedroom door.
I go in and pick her up and try to calm her down on the bed. Remarkably, I kept my cool. I don’t know WHERE it came from, but I kept a level head and calm, soothing voice to try to calm her down. Still didn’t work though!
She scrambled down from the bed and ran to the bedroom door where Tim was standing – holding it shut. She started to lean back and he grabbed her arms and then was holding on tightly as if she fell backwards, she was going to crack her head on her dresser and could really have hurt herself. She is screaming — “LET ME GO!!!”…..until suddenly the anger screams turn to pain and she yells “OWIE MOMMY OWIE!!!”
I flew out of her bed and scooped her up. She immediately asks for her ice pack (her new “cure-all” for what ails her). So Tim runs down and gets it. She is just crying her little heart out at this time…..so I decided to join in. My heart was breaking for her that she got hurt.
So, we put the ice pack on her arm where she says it was hurting and I get her talked into laying down in HER bed (Mommy 1 – Emma 0). She starts to relax while I am stroking her hair, when she whispers, “Mommy, stop petting me.” This almost made me laugh out loud.
So at 4:15, she drifted off to sleep….or so I thought. I think she did sleep a little, but at 5:15, she woke up saying OUCHIE again and wanted to sit up and put the ice on her arm. She was crying again. I figured she had just twisted it when everything happened. So again, Mommy calms her down and puts her to sleep. 6:30 a.m. flashes in green in front of my eyes and she is up again and crying. This time, however, she doesn’t really let up. She just keeps saying “Mommy, it hurts.” My heart is broken at this point….and now, so is her daddy’s.
So, I take her downstairs and try to get our routine started, wondering if it is real pain or if she is just beyond exhausted. At 8:00 a.m. Tim called to check on her and could hear her crying. I told him that I was waiting for the doctor’s office to open and I was going to call them. I could tell that she was really in some pain. So, we get our 9:45 appointment set (and it is 8:40).
So I head upstairs (having to carry Emma at this point) and get both of the kids dressed and I get showered. It is 9:15, so I head down to put Garrett into the minivan so we can leave. I grab the door and the auto open, “doesn’t.” So I get my keys and go to check and the van does NOTHING….doesn’t even ATTEMPT to start for me.
I run into the house and call Tim. He helped me to hook up the battery charger. I told him that I must have done something when I cleaned the van and thought maybe I didn’t get the rear gate closed tight enough and the lights stayed on.
So, I get both kids loaded up into the van (having to manually open the doors) while the battery is charging, when my GUARDIAN ANGEL calls on the phone. My friend, Kathy, called to invite us to her son’s baptism and asked if it was a good time. I told her that it wasn’t and what was going on and asked if I could call her back. She offered to come and get us as she was just up the street from our house. GOD BLESS HER!!!
So, I got down Garrett’s car seat (we had JUST put in the convertible this weekend), she moves her son’s booster to the back for Emma, load us all up and head to the doctor’s office. She agreed that someone was playing a part in this as she had actually overslept and was heading home later than usual this morning. I think that someone was looking out for my family for sure.
So, we get to the doctor’s office, she drops off the car seat at Tim’s pickup so we can get back home. Sure enough, she had pulled her elbow out of the socket. She reassured us that it wasn’t anything we had done, just her yanking on it. She popped it back in and it was like a light switch had gone off. Emma was IMMEDIATELY happy, playing and just “herself” again. THANK GOODNESS!!! So, Tim got us back home, dropped the seat back off and I made sure the van battery was fully charged back up again.
The only other good thing today was that Garrett took almost a 3 hour nap today. We also fed him table food, twice. So, we are getting close to NO MORE BABY FOOD for him!! WOO HOO!!! He also went to sleep on his own – no bottle. He even woke up about 30 minutes after going down and we didn’t go into his room and he put himself right back to sleep.
Emma followed suit at 6:45. Mommy and Daddy are tired and will be heading off to visit the sandman rather early tonight as well. We just are praying for NO repeat of last night….but if we have to go through another tantrum, we know to NOT grab our daughter’s arms again!
01.05.08
New Year’s Goals
OK….so I have read many of yours and guess that I should put mine in writing as I know that will really help me to achieve them!
1. Organize my pictures on my CDs…..and this one — IS DONE!!!! I finally can actually FIND a picture that I want.
2. Get Emma’s, Christmas & Garrett’s scrapbooks all up to date. Organizing my pics was actually the FIRST step to getting this done, so I am a little closer to getting going on this one.
3. Get a my wedding album / scrapbook done. Seeing how our 5 year anniversary is in June, I guess it is high time I get my butt in gear and get that done! I got the money to buy the photo album I want (a “real” wedding album)…..but used it to pay off debts instead. So, I may have to dip into a fund and get “it back.”
4. Speaking of debt — get the home equity loan PAID OFF by 12/31/08!! I want to really go hard at this and throw every extra cent we have at this so that it is completely gone and we can close it out and put it behind us. Sure learned the hard way how dumb it was to make this move!
5. Spend more quality time with my family. I am with the kids all day long…but I need to focus a little more on doing things with them. Now, I will still NOT entertain them all day long as I don’t think that is good….but I need to do more with each of them so that they are continually learning and I can share in that.
6. Spend more time alone with DH. We need to go out TOGETHER more often…..I really want to work on one date a month. I think it is important and we need that time alone.
7. Get my business really going. I kind of slacked off after Thanksgiving — no motivation. Now, I am ready to get a lot of parties booked and find at least 3 consultants by the end of the year. I want to start to make at least $200 per month to help my family’s financial needs.
So there you have it. In writing. We shall see what I can accomplish during 2008!
The Terribly Awful, Horribly Stinkin’ Bad Couple of Days!
Child – SWEET child! Oh – I am using the term SWEET extremely loosely here! GAAAHH!!! I joked with Tim tonight that Emma will be lucky to live to 3 1/2 at the rate she is going. She is stealing toys from her brother, knocking him over, throwing things at him and just defying me left and right!! I didn’t think defiance was to set in until she was a teenager — she must be getting in some practice for us now!!!
Mommy and Daddy have had to get the one up on her. So now, when she does something bad, we try to immediately scoop up Garrett and talk about how sorry we are that he got hurt, or something thrown at him, etc…..just kind of ignoring Emma. We also have started to take away toys — which she can “earn” back when she is good. We also are starting to OVERLY praise her when she does something good — extra hugs/kisses, etc. She also LOVES to be Mommy’s Big Helper!! It is amazing that she rushes to help me! Hmmmm…I think I need to video this to show her when she refuses when she is 15!!! LOL!!!
Garrett is starting to learn to wave. I can’t wait until he starts to actually form some words….but I know that for boys it is later than it is for girls (in most cases), so I am not going to stress about it at all! He is such a sweetie and I am savoring the times I get to still rock him to sleep (although it is very rare that we do that)……..he is so sweet…..gives me kisses…..will give me hugs. I love that little boy JUST as much as his big sister!!!
OK — so that was bad. Another bad thing was the water in the basement. We woke up Friday to soaked floor boards. So, we turned off the water to the dishwasher and it finally stopped to drip. We called insurance and Manley’s right away. Manley’s came out today and of course….NO WATER anywhere below the dishwasher. Are you flippin‘ kidding me? The water had to come from somewhere…..Lord knows it my wood didn’t just start to drip water! GAAHHH!!! So, I was lucky that I was able to pay $65 for absolutely nothing at all!!! DAMN HOUSE!!!
